I’ve been meaning to blog this for a few weeks now. I hope I can make you all laugh as hard as I did.

Be warned this is a little long.

So it was 4:30 in the morning and Sarah is ready to get up and eat. So I take her to the changing table and change her and then we go sit in the chair for some nummy num. When all of a sudden I smell this horrible foul smell. What in the world could it be I think. I look down at Sarah who is happily eating away without a care in the world. I say to her “Ewww!!! What is that smell?” She of course didn’t answer me.
Next thing I know Brian is up and he’s standing in the living room sniffing. I said “What in the world are you doing” He responds with “Trying to find out that smell”
Next thing I know he’s on his hands and knees lifting up the dogs tail and sniffing her butt. All I could do at this point is stare at his madness.
Then he crawls over to Sophie who is sleeping on the floor. (The girls like to sleep in the living room when there is no school. I don’t know why.) He puts his nose to her butt. Then he stands up and goes to the couch where Emma is sleeping and sniffs her butt. ( if you knew how often Emma farts in her sleep you would know what a risk that is)So about this time I say “ Brian what on earth are you doing?” He says, “trying to find that smell.”. Ummm…yea, but I don’t think sniffing butts is the way to do it.

So he goes into the dining room and again gets on his hands and knees and this time he sniffs the floor. Still can’t find the smell.
About this time the smell is gone. So I’m thinking hmmm….It was smelling when the heat kicked in and now nothing. I just pondered that bit of info for a minute.
Again the heat kicks on and here comes that god awful smell. Now it didn’t just stink. This was the green fog that slapped you in your face and made your nose hairs curl. This was some foul stuff.
So I point out to Brain that I think it’s coming from the heating vent. Since it comes and goes as the heat kicks on and off.

So while telling him what I was thinking, I had this little light bulb go off in my head. I bet it’s a dead mouse in the heater vent. It smelled an awful like that time there was a dead mouse next to the dryer. So I tell Brian what I think it is. He just looks at me doesn’t say a word and goes to the basement and I hear him pounding around. So I think to myself, hahaha, I must be right because he’s down there looking around at the pipes.

Uhh…yea, he was looking around all right. He was looking in the FREEZER!!! Apparently all that butt sniffing made him hungry and he wanted to cook a frozen pizza. (go figure)

So after he puts the pizza in the oven the heat has again kicked on and the smell is back. So I again tell him my theory of the dead mouse. I mean what else could it be, right? Surely anything alive wouldn’t make such a foul oder.

He looks at me like I’m loco (now remember he was the one sniffing butts) and says “No it’s not a dead mouse, how could it have gotten in there?” I get real quiet and think about that one. He did have a valid point after all. Again the light bulb goes off. So I said “When I was a little girl I saw a mouse go into a vent. They can make themselves real small.” Again I got the loco look. After all I’m just a mere woman, what could I know.

So I’m pressing the issue about it this time because I just know I’m right. I”m always right you know. He kept saying no it wasn’t that. He’s sitting in the rocker with the dog at his feet. Sarah is now sleeping in my arms. After all she’s got a clean diaper, full tummy and has been burped. So it’s now about 5 in the morning. Or maybe she’s passed out from the foul smell. Hmmmm….

Next thing I know Brian’s face turns a little green. I said “Brian what’s wrong” He said it’s the dogs ass making that smell.” I was like no way. Guessy poo would never smell that bad. Granted she did have some foul farts but nothing like what we were smelling. Besides, it was after all a dead mouse in the vent. Remember, I’m always right.

So the smell is getting stronger and the dog gets up and moves. I guess the mystery smell was bothering her too.
About that time it hits me and it’s my turn to become green. What is this rancid smell. Could it really be that I was wrong. Surely it wasn’t Guess. Hmmm… Could it be that there was no dead mouse. That it could really be coming from my precious pooch.

Yea, you all guessed it. I, Jamie, Ms. Know it all was wrong. Our dog had some serious gas issues. It was so bad she couldn’t stand the smell of herself.
She kept passing gas for at least another hour. There was no escaping this smell either. It just floated through the house like bubble.

So of course I’m laughing my ass off at everything that happened. No dead mouse like I thought and plenty of butt sniffing going on! I can still see Brian on the floor sniffing all those butts. Oh what fun it is to be in my house!

So I hope you all enjoyed my mini novel about the mystery smell. I will be available for book signing from 2-3 pm yesterday! LOL!!! Just teasing.

I do hope everyone is having a wonderful day/evening.

Posted in Brian, Family
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